Sometimes this really sucks

*From my former blog*

Zoey landed herself back in jail Sunday evening. Her reluctance to control her temper is really biting her in the ass! We had a detention hearing yesterday, to see if she would remain in detention or come home. A unanimous decision by therapists, social workers, Mom and Dad (that would be us), and the judge means she'll be there until her next hearing scheduled for October 6th - so about 2 weeks. Everyone on her team is planning out for the worst case scenario, that she will need to be placed into a residential setting like a group home or mental health facility. This is pretty hard to swallow. We knew that ultimately, this would be a possibility. I just didn't imagine it would be so soon into our placement. The basic game plan is that she'll come home after her next hearing, she'll have another chance to prove she can make it in our home and in the community, but plans will be in place that if she commits another crime she will be removed from our care and put into a more secure environment. This is just breaking my heart because it doesn't have to be this way!!!! No one can figure out yet if she is capable of controlling herself or not. Her mental health issues are so complex and so compounded on top of one another that she has everyone involved in her care scratching their heads. Here's the deal...sometimes she controls it, sometimes she clearly doesn't and there seems to be no rhyme or reason to when she does well and when she does poorly. So maybe the times she acts appropriately is just a fluke or maybe she really can control her impluses and understands the consequences of her actions - nobody can tell for sure! Dan and I have done everything we can think of to get her under control, we've had about a 50/50 result.
If she has to live somewhere else, we'll still be her parents. That won't change. But what I'm having alot of difficulty with right now is facing the severity of her mental health issues and developmental delay. She demands to know why we place the limits on her that we do, so we make her face her "stuff" and it's making her hate us. The only alternative to what we're doing seems to be to let her do as she pleases, there seems to be only extremes with her. I feel so confused as to what to do with her. Her therapist is recommending intensive attachment therapy and my gut is kinda telling me that is the way to go. At attachment therapy, it's very intensive, like everyday-for-several-weeks intensive, and in your face. It might be a chance for us to just get it all on the table, tell her "look! You are NOT in control here for these reasons - duh, duh, duh and that's how it is and we're not going anywhere, this is your life now." At this point, I'd be willing to try about anything to wake her up. There are still some options for us to try. But in the end, if she either can't or won't participate in her own recovery, either can't or won't reach for something new and healthy, there will be nothing left for her than to remain where she is mentally and emotionally and that will mean some kind of facility for her for the rest of her life.

I knew it would be hard, but this is really a bitter pill to swallow and sometimes, this just really sucks!