Choosing Zoey

*From my former blog*

I've decided to write a book. I've started it actually. Last Friday morning in the wee hours after arriving home from karaoke, I began typing the title and dedication pages, then Chapter 1. This morning, about 3 am, I lay in bed thinking about it more when inspiration struck to jot down a forward about why I am writing the book. So I grabbed my bedside notebook and let out some thoughts. The forward was inspired by my friend, Nicole, who blessed me with a powerful compliment and recognition of what I am doing. I've been told more and more lately how inspired others are by my story, which is profoundly humbling and an inspiration in and of itself to me to continue choosing Zoey, through all the craziness and seemingly hopeless struggles we face as her new parents. To know I have a cheering section makes it that much easier to overcome an obstacle...or an objection . Because on the other side of inspiration and admiration lies doubt. I've been confronted lately with powerful questions about why I am adopting a special needs child. Questions that I must answer if I am to show people the magic in what I am doing. There are many motivators and reasons I choose Zoey as my child. The beginning and ending reason being that I give her the gifts every child is entitled to, through giving her these gifts I am gifted in return. A wonderful by-product of this cyclical experience is that if I show those interested enough to watch this unfold, or to read my book, how I am doing it maybe they will see that they can do it, too. It's all about choosing love over fear, a capability we all have if we but remember. Every threat that has been made against me, every cruel word spoken, every attempt to reject me being her new parent has been rooted in fear. I absolutely believe that love is always stronger than fear, even when we forget that it is. My deepest hopes in choosing Zoey are that I will see her flourish and reach her highest possible level of independence, that she will let some of the pain go, now that she is safe to do so, choosing to love and be loved over fear. My deepest hope in writing my book is that people will see this possibility for living in love in their own lives and the world would then be the world I'd like to see all children living in.

Interestingly, Zoe, or Zoey as she chose to spell it, means life. Life, love, and God are all the same thing to me. I believe zoe calls to me to answer it, to affirm it, to demonstrate it, so I didn't choose Zoey to try to save the world, I choose Zoey to choose zoe.

By the way, the title of my book is "Choosing Zoey" - lol and Namaste.