*From my former blog*
I titled this entry "Just Breathe..." because it's been a rough week and several times I've had to tell myself exactly that. The list of things I could address here is practically endless, so I'll just touch on the highlights.
Thank God school starts next week!
Zoey and I attended Open House at the high school tonight. I am so relieved summer vacation is nearly over and she will be back in school. She does so well with structure and I am very glad to have the "break" during the day while she's at school. Whether or not I will be able to get back to a fuller work schedule has yet to be determined. A few variables on that subject include whether or not she is going to settle in well enough not to be constantly calling me from school (allowing me to work undisturbed) and also whether or not I will be immersed in training to be a Certified Life Coach. Dan is supporting me on getting the training - Thank you, honey! - so now it boils down to fitting that into our budget and our schedule. If I can make it work, I will be pursuing that while keeping my hours at my current job at a very casual pace. I know my current employer is wanting to know my intentions, they've been very good these last 4 months since Zoey moved in letting me work such restricted hours, I hope to have my plan worked out soon. But for now, I'm just looking forward to next Wednesday!
Trichotillowhata?
With the start of school next week, we had to do something about Zoey's hair. The name of the condition she has developed is trichotillomania. Which is "recurrent pulling out of ones hair resulting in noticeable hair loss." At the Open House tonight, pictures were being taken for student ID's and school pictures. So, Monday morning, Zoey and I went wig shopping. We ended up finding a great looking red and black one at the Halloween store in the Mall. It's a very modern, very stylish cut and it's black and red streaks, which is a popular way of coloring these days. For $15 it looks incredibly more expensive and realistic. We needed something for pictures. This works. Earlier today, she had me cut off the remaining strands of longer hair she had. Her pulling has been mostly on the left side, but as that thinned she worked her way around to the right and back, leaving only a small patch of longer, unpulled hair. That is now gone. I tried to trim it up so it would look like she just has a very short style, it actually makes her whole head look better to have it all short as opposed to balding on one side and long on the other. She thinks it looks terrible. I wonder if that will be incentive for her to stop pulling....time will tell I guess. She did tell me before bed that it's harder for her to pull the shorter hair, so maybe it will help.
Shooting in the dark
Trichotillomania is associated with OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Among all of the other things we're dealing with, we're trying to put our fingers on exactly what Zoey's diagnoses are. We've seen more OCD behaviors, including the hair pulling and an incessant need to do things when reason might dictate otherwise; poor impulse control. I feel more like an arm chair psychiatrist than ever before! We have strong suspicions of Asperger's Syndrome as well. The list of possible conditions and disorders of this child is virtually endless! And everything seems interrelated, too! It's like "is this behavior being caused by her inability to understand because of her low IQ or is she behaving so defiantly because of ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)?" Dan said it best, it's like we're shooting in the dark. It's extremely difficult to parent a child and address challenging behaviors that we don't fully know the reason's for. But we are learning, even if we don't have accurate diagnoses, what works with her and what does not. One thing we've found helpful is to use visual means of explaining things to her, drawing a picture of something for example. In many ways, I feel like Anne Sullivan to Zoey's Hellen Keller-like situation. For 15 years this girl has had no one steady in her life to help her communicate and navigate a world she clearly doesn't understand. I find myself wondering which came first, the proverbial "Chicken or Egg" question - did her 15 years of trauma and neglect cause all of these disorders or did her disorders exsist first? Which then caused the maladaptive behavior that scared prospective caregivers away (resulting in the additional trauma of multiple abandonments) leading to further disorders! I suppose we may never know, but either way it seems almost unbearably sad. Then again, if we get a real handle on her diagnoses and treat her in a way that builds on her strengths, maybe we will see that the question isn't as important as what the result will be. If Anne and Hellen could find their way, Zoey, Dan, and I certainly have some hope.
Good things
I've worked out more this week, been getting better sleep, too. I've had more energy and more ambition to live healthy. I cleaned my den last weekend, too, and let me tell you - the difference I feel when I am in here is extraordinary! I feel like it's easier for me to focus on what I need to get done. I can now have Maddie in here with me while I'm working because there is room for her to sit and play on the floor...she still gets into things, like my books, which are on shelves low enough and open for her easy access, but it's all good. I've been staying on task so well this week, I've even been making my bed each day! I scrubbed my kitchen floor on Tuesday and have managed to keep each days chores to a manageable schedule. Zoey's even had 3 solid days of loosing NO points on her behavior modification plan! So, although life has been hectic with wrapping up the summer and trying to determine all of Zoey's disorders, we're still doing ok. We just breathe and life goes on.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Mourning Missy
*From my former blog*
As Zoey becomes more our daughter, letting go of past traumas and abandonments, as she attaches more deeply to us, what filled her up before has to go somewhere. As Missy becomes Zoey her "stuff" has to be released, a little at a time. These last two nights, I've been waist deep in it. Tomorrow morning, an investigator will be coming to gather more information about the incidents that occured last spring. This has triggered PTSD-like behaviors. Before she went to bed tonight, I really thought I was going to have to call in an emergency sitter for Maddie so I could take Z to the ER to be sedated. She had attempted to pick a fight with me over bedtime, but I could tell it was anxiety about tomorrow - but she insisted on arguing about other things like me being late from a meeting earlier and not spending enough time with her. She had some valid points, but her anger was overblown for my little offenses. Finally, when I wouldn't give in to her need to fight with me, she broke down. Her sobbing and the intermittent visible urges to rage made it clear this wasn't about me running late. She cried like she would never be able to convince herself to stop. When I did get to her to look up me, the pain in her eyes was utter misery. Eventually, I talked her through it. I remain so calm in these situations that I surprise myself - I sometimes say to myself in my head "holy crap how are you not loosing it!?" I get into a "zone" when these things arise, both the terribly painful ones and the painfully terrible ones. I just go to center and know I have to remain calm...I must be the parent she needs; strong, calm, ever nurturing, unfazed by her sometimes repulsive behavior. I don't always begin that way. Tonights argument had me at first arguing back, but as she pushed to take the argument higher, I realized we weren't talking about bedtime anymore and then I let my end of the rope go. I went to center, she fell apart. After she pulled herself back out of that hell, she asked me to cook her some scrambled eggs and then promised to go to bed. I layed with her awhile and we didn't talk about tomorrow at all.
Tuesday night's release of "stuff" resulted in stiffled speech and stuttering. After letting some anxiety out, she cried silently and surprised me in quite a strange way by coming to me and sitting in my arms to let me hold her. In adoption terms, that is known as a breakthrough. A moment when the child claims you or clearly demonstrates that they see themselves as your child. Letting someone hold her is something she doesn't often do. I stroked her nearly bald head and just said "it will be ok." There are a million things I could say in moments like these, but sometimes the simplest is the most profound. As we sat there, I was struck with conflicting emotions - deep grief and gratitude. Grief for what she's been through and gratitude that I am finally here for her. When she finally stopped crying last night, she also stopped speaking. Any words she did speak were hard for her to get out, she stuttered forcefully to answer some of my questions about what she was feeling. It occured to me to acknowledge the difficulty she was having, I asked her if she knew why she was having trouble talking. With a couple of forced words and hand gestures, she expressed that if she started talking she was so angry that we'd end up having to call 911, so it was better for her to remain silent.
I grieve this. I mourn Missy. No person ever starts out this way. The things that we see now are the result of things that have happened to her. I mourn her life before I could protect her. Watching her pull out her own hair, one side is almost all gone now, seeing her have moments of real, brutal misery...I could say it's too much, but too much for what? There's no way through this except through it. There's no saying "uh, this is just too intense for me, sorry." I totally understand now the phrase some people use about adoption, particularly older child adoption, "this is a labor of love." Because the emotional pain is equated with the physical pain of child birth. You can't not have your baby once you're ready to deliver (believe me!) and you can't not birth your adopted child once you've claimed them as your own. As Zoey lets herself become mine (attaches), she has to let some of the pain out to let the love in. It's sort of a tragically beautiful thing - she's becoming a newer version of herself and Missy, with all of her tragedy, must be mourned and laid to rest.
Any doubts I had about the credibility of her accusations evaporated in the face of the misery I saw in her eyes these last two nights. Think what you will, torment like this can not be faked. Not on purpose. Not for attention. I didn't always know this, regretfully now I do.
As Zoey becomes more our daughter, letting go of past traumas and abandonments, as she attaches more deeply to us, what filled her up before has to go somewhere. As Missy becomes Zoey her "stuff" has to be released, a little at a time. These last two nights, I've been waist deep in it. Tomorrow morning, an investigator will be coming to gather more information about the incidents that occured last spring. This has triggered PTSD-like behaviors. Before she went to bed tonight, I really thought I was going to have to call in an emergency sitter for Maddie so I could take Z to the ER to be sedated. She had attempted to pick a fight with me over bedtime, but I could tell it was anxiety about tomorrow - but she insisted on arguing about other things like me being late from a meeting earlier and not spending enough time with her. She had some valid points, but her anger was overblown for my little offenses. Finally, when I wouldn't give in to her need to fight with me, she broke down. Her sobbing and the intermittent visible urges to rage made it clear this wasn't about me running late. She cried like she would never be able to convince herself to stop. When I did get to her to look up me, the pain in her eyes was utter misery. Eventually, I talked her through it. I remain so calm in these situations that I surprise myself - I sometimes say to myself in my head "holy crap how are you not loosing it!?" I get into a "zone" when these things arise, both the terribly painful ones and the painfully terrible ones. I just go to center and know I have to remain calm...I must be the parent she needs; strong, calm, ever nurturing, unfazed by her sometimes repulsive behavior. I don't always begin that way. Tonights argument had me at first arguing back, but as she pushed to take the argument higher, I realized we weren't talking about bedtime anymore and then I let my end of the rope go. I went to center, she fell apart. After she pulled herself back out of that hell, she asked me to cook her some scrambled eggs and then promised to go to bed. I layed with her awhile and we didn't talk about tomorrow at all.
Tuesday night's release of "stuff" resulted in stiffled speech and stuttering. After letting some anxiety out, she cried silently and surprised me in quite a strange way by coming to me and sitting in my arms to let me hold her. In adoption terms, that is known as a breakthrough. A moment when the child claims you or clearly demonstrates that they see themselves as your child. Letting someone hold her is something she doesn't often do. I stroked her nearly bald head and just said "it will be ok." There are a million things I could say in moments like these, but sometimes the simplest is the most profound. As we sat there, I was struck with conflicting emotions - deep grief and gratitude. Grief for what she's been through and gratitude that I am finally here for her. When she finally stopped crying last night, she also stopped speaking. Any words she did speak were hard for her to get out, she stuttered forcefully to answer some of my questions about what she was feeling. It occured to me to acknowledge the difficulty she was having, I asked her if she knew why she was having trouble talking. With a couple of forced words and hand gestures, she expressed that if she started talking she was so angry that we'd end up having to call 911, so it was better for her to remain silent.
I grieve this. I mourn Missy. No person ever starts out this way. The things that we see now are the result of things that have happened to her. I mourn her life before I could protect her. Watching her pull out her own hair, one side is almost all gone now, seeing her have moments of real, brutal misery...I could say it's too much, but too much for what? There's no way through this except through it. There's no saying "uh, this is just too intense for me, sorry." I totally understand now the phrase some people use about adoption, particularly older child adoption, "this is a labor of love." Because the emotional pain is equated with the physical pain of child birth. You can't not have your baby once you're ready to deliver (believe me!) and you can't not birth your adopted child once you've claimed them as your own. As Zoey lets herself become mine (attaches), she has to let some of the pain out to let the love in. It's sort of a tragically beautiful thing - she's becoming a newer version of herself and Missy, with all of her tragedy, must be mourned and laid to rest.
Any doubts I had about the credibility of her accusations evaporated in the face of the misery I saw in her eyes these last two nights. Think what you will, torment like this can not be faked. Not on purpose. Not for attention. I didn't always know this, regretfully now I do.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Choosing Zoey
*From my former blog*
I've decided to write a book. I've started it actually. Last Friday morning in the wee hours after arriving home from karaoke, I began typing the title and dedication pages, then Chapter 1. This morning, about 3 am, I lay in bed thinking about it more when inspiration struck to jot down a forward about why I am writing the book. So I grabbed my bedside notebook and let out some thoughts. The forward was inspired by my friend, Nicole, who blessed me with a powerful compliment and recognition of what I am doing. I've been told more and more lately how inspired others are by my story, which is profoundly humbling and an inspiration in and of itself to me to continue choosing Zoey, through all the craziness and seemingly hopeless struggles we face as her new parents. To know I have a cheering section makes it that much easier to overcome an obstacle...or an objection . Because on the other side of inspiration and admiration lies doubt. I've been confronted lately with powerful questions about why I am adopting a special needs child. Questions that I must answer if I am to show people the magic in what I am doing. There are many motivators and reasons I choose Zoey as my child. The beginning and ending reason being that I give her the gifts every child is entitled to, through giving her these gifts I am gifted in return. A wonderful by-product of this cyclical experience is that if I show those interested enough to watch this unfold, or to read my book, how I am doing it maybe they will see that they can do it, too. It's all about choosing love over fear, a capability we all have if we but remember. Every threat that has been made against me, every cruel word spoken, every attempt to reject me being her new parent has been rooted in fear. I absolutely believe that love is always stronger than fear, even when we forget that it is. My deepest hopes in choosing Zoey are that I will see her flourish and reach her highest possible level of independence, that she will let some of the pain go, now that she is safe to do so, choosing to love and be loved over fear. My deepest hope in writing my book is that people will see this possibility for living in love in their own lives and the world would then be the world I'd like to see all children living in.
Interestingly, Zoe, or Zoey as she chose to spell it, means life. Life, love, and God are all the same thing to me. I believe zoe calls to me to answer it, to affirm it, to demonstrate it, so I didn't choose Zoey to try to save the world, I choose Zoey to choose zoe.
By the way, the title of my book is "Choosing Zoey" - lol and Namaste.
I've decided to write a book. I've started it actually. Last Friday morning in the wee hours after arriving home from karaoke, I began typing the title and dedication pages, then Chapter 1. This morning, about 3 am, I lay in bed thinking about it more when inspiration struck to jot down a forward about why I am writing the book. So I grabbed my bedside notebook and let out some thoughts. The forward was inspired by my friend, Nicole, who blessed me with a powerful compliment and recognition of what I am doing. I've been told more and more lately how inspired others are by my story, which is profoundly humbling and an inspiration in and of itself to me to continue choosing Zoey, through all the craziness and seemingly hopeless struggles we face as her new parents. To know I have a cheering section makes it that much easier to overcome an obstacle...or an objection . Because on the other side of inspiration and admiration lies doubt. I've been confronted lately with powerful questions about why I am adopting a special needs child. Questions that I must answer if I am to show people the magic in what I am doing. There are many motivators and reasons I choose Zoey as my child. The beginning and ending reason being that I give her the gifts every child is entitled to, through giving her these gifts I am gifted in return. A wonderful by-product of this cyclical experience is that if I show those interested enough to watch this unfold, or to read my book, how I am doing it maybe they will see that they can do it, too. It's all about choosing love over fear, a capability we all have if we but remember. Every threat that has been made against me, every cruel word spoken, every attempt to reject me being her new parent has been rooted in fear. I absolutely believe that love is always stronger than fear, even when we forget that it is. My deepest hopes in choosing Zoey are that I will see her flourish and reach her highest possible level of independence, that she will let some of the pain go, now that she is safe to do so, choosing to love and be loved over fear. My deepest hope in writing my book is that people will see this possibility for living in love in their own lives and the world would then be the world I'd like to see all children living in.
Interestingly, Zoe, or Zoey as she chose to spell it, means life. Life, love, and God are all the same thing to me. I believe zoe calls to me to answer it, to affirm it, to demonstrate it, so I didn't choose Zoey to try to save the world, I choose Zoey to choose zoe.
By the way, the title of my book is "Choosing Zoey" - lol and Namaste.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Life's Little Rewards
*From my former blog*
It feels good to be back
My life has taken such a turn. Just a few short weeks ago I had found myself in the trenches of a depression the likes of which I hadn't felt in years. Especially surprising to me was that I found myself there in the midst of being a mom. I thought I would never again feel so dark after I had my daughter, getting pregnant alone was so joyful for me I thought I had a free pass good for a life time of bliss and despair free living. As it turns out, being a mom is a powerful motivator not to stay depressed, but I still have moments and experiences in life that will trip me up from time to time - as we all do.
A joy like no other
So, I've come out of the darkness again, and life is so sweet right now I can almost taste it! First I have to say, just for my own recollection later, my baby, Maddie, gives the best hugs I've ever had! I patted and rubbed her back from the first moments she was in my arms and when she gives me her little tiny hugs, she pats my back, or my shoulder, or my arm - where ever her little arm can reach. It's the most warm feeling. It literally feels like she reaches into my heart to tell me "slow down, Mom. Everything will be ok. Just enjoy me. Let's take each other in." Every single time she blesses me with one of those hugs, I instantly feel calm - no matter what I was doing - and just savor it. It feels me with peace and gratitude. It's awesome, really. I focused alot of light and love on Maddie while I was pregnant and these past 15 months, in fact typing that just now makes me think of the times I've yelled or gotten short with her and I think "why?" Why do I do that? I've gotten a little off track of my purpose of being a totally loving mom, especially since I went back to work and have had to focus on more than just motherhood. Thankfully, I've caught myself in the act of being a "mad mom" and it's not too late to let that go. I'm in carefree mode these days. The point I was going to make, though, is that I sent so much loving energy her way and now it gets reciprocated by way of her little loving hugs, it feels really good. Beyond words even. So, with that, I move on....
The upside of being down
I've been refocusing lately. One useful part of experiencing depression or something painful is that it can bring things into a sharper focus once you've moved on from it. For me, that sharper focus is on my career and on how I present myself to the world. For better or for worse, my strongest intention right now is to just be myself and if people can handle that - great! If not, ok but I've got a life to live. I'm putting my career as a life coach on priority status, along with some lifestyle changes. I went to the doctor Monday afternoon and was once again reminded, "you know you really should loose some weight..." Yeah, thanks for noticing! Uh, I hate being told that by my super slim physician....I wonder what he'd say if I asked him what his secret is. Hmmmm. Well, he was about a week late telling me this anyway. Last week, I started exercising and being more vigilant about what I'm eating. I have a long way to go, but I've begun. My overall intention is wellness for myself and my family, which includes more than just diet and exercise, I'm talking about total wellness - physical, spiritual, financial...I was working on putting a Life Coaching strategy together last spring, all about total wellness on a family scale. But I put that to rest as we stepped up our adoption plans. Now I think I'm going to continue working on it, as things with our oldest is getting smoother and smoother as the days go by.
Which leads me to Z
Missy is changing her name when we finalize to Zoey. She's begun using Z as a nickname. It fits her well. Things are going incredibly well for us now. We've gone through alot of crap to get this far, but now that we have I can breathe easier knowing she's settling in with us, growing more attached. We count our blessings to one another once and awhile and when she counts "having a family" and "having people that love me" it makes me want to melt. Earlier tonight, we were spending some quality time together and she was reading me some songs she had written. She then explained one song was inspired by me talking to her about not giving up on something that you really believe in. She told me that when she wrote the song, she felt like she wanted to give up but remembered me telling her how important it is to stand up and fight for what you believe in. I felt claimed as her mother just a little bit more in that moment. That's the kind of thing mothers teach their children and children that respect their mothers, take their mother's advice. Getting back to the song and the theme of it, the significance I see in it is that one of my hardest fights of all has been for her. I've done it, I've become her Mom. I've done what several women before me have tried to do but gave up. The song "God Bless the Broken Road" comes to mind...."God bless the broken road that led me straight to you..."
To the victor go the spoils
My girls give the best hugs around. They each have about a 1000 watt smile. To see Maddie growing up from a fresh little peanut into a little girl, running around, laughing, climbing on everything she can manage to figure out how to - it's amazing. Maddie is our miracle, in progress. And Z. She is turning out just as I knew she would, all it took is hanging in with her long enough for her to relax. Under all of the heartache, under all of the problems, she is just as much a miracle as any child - perhaps even a bit more so given that she has survived more tradegy than most people twice her age. She is happy more days than depressed now. She gives more hugs than threats now and more smiles than scowls. I came home from work one night to find a note stuck to the front door - "I love you, Mom" is all it said, but it says everything to me.
Life is so sweet. Namaste.
It feels good to be back
My life has taken such a turn. Just a few short weeks ago I had found myself in the trenches of a depression the likes of which I hadn't felt in years. Especially surprising to me was that I found myself there in the midst of being a mom. I thought I would never again feel so dark after I had my daughter, getting pregnant alone was so joyful for me I thought I had a free pass good for a life time of bliss and despair free living. As it turns out, being a mom is a powerful motivator not to stay depressed, but I still have moments and experiences in life that will trip me up from time to time - as we all do.
A joy like no other
So, I've come out of the darkness again, and life is so sweet right now I can almost taste it! First I have to say, just for my own recollection later, my baby, Maddie, gives the best hugs I've ever had! I patted and rubbed her back from the first moments she was in my arms and when she gives me her little tiny hugs, she pats my back, or my shoulder, or my arm - where ever her little arm can reach. It's the most warm feeling. It literally feels like she reaches into my heart to tell me "slow down, Mom. Everything will be ok. Just enjoy me. Let's take each other in." Every single time she blesses me with one of those hugs, I instantly feel calm - no matter what I was doing - and just savor it. It feels me with peace and gratitude. It's awesome, really. I focused alot of light and love on Maddie while I was pregnant and these past 15 months, in fact typing that just now makes me think of the times I've yelled or gotten short with her and I think "why?" Why do I do that? I've gotten a little off track of my purpose of being a totally loving mom, especially since I went back to work and have had to focus on more than just motherhood. Thankfully, I've caught myself in the act of being a "mad mom" and it's not too late to let that go. I'm in carefree mode these days. The point I was going to make, though, is that I sent so much loving energy her way and now it gets reciprocated by way of her little loving hugs, it feels really good. Beyond words even. So, with that, I move on....
The upside of being down
I've been refocusing lately. One useful part of experiencing depression or something painful is that it can bring things into a sharper focus once you've moved on from it. For me, that sharper focus is on my career and on how I present myself to the world. For better or for worse, my strongest intention right now is to just be myself and if people can handle that - great! If not, ok but I've got a life to live. I'm putting my career as a life coach on priority status, along with some lifestyle changes. I went to the doctor Monday afternoon and was once again reminded, "you know you really should loose some weight..." Yeah, thanks for noticing! Uh, I hate being told that by my super slim physician....I wonder what he'd say if I asked him what his secret is. Hmmmm. Well, he was about a week late telling me this anyway. Last week, I started exercising and being more vigilant about what I'm eating. I have a long way to go, but I've begun. My overall intention is wellness for myself and my family, which includes more than just diet and exercise, I'm talking about total wellness - physical, spiritual, financial...I was working on putting a Life Coaching strategy together last spring, all about total wellness on a family scale. But I put that to rest as we stepped up our adoption plans. Now I think I'm going to continue working on it, as things with our oldest is getting smoother and smoother as the days go by.
Which leads me to Z
Missy is changing her name when we finalize to Zoey. She's begun using Z as a nickname. It fits her well. Things are going incredibly well for us now. We've gone through alot of crap to get this far, but now that we have I can breathe easier knowing she's settling in with us, growing more attached. We count our blessings to one another once and awhile and when she counts "having a family" and "having people that love me" it makes me want to melt. Earlier tonight, we were spending some quality time together and she was reading me some songs she had written. She then explained one song was inspired by me talking to her about not giving up on something that you really believe in. She told me that when she wrote the song, she felt like she wanted to give up but remembered me telling her how important it is to stand up and fight for what you believe in. I felt claimed as her mother just a little bit more in that moment. That's the kind of thing mothers teach their children and children that respect their mothers, take their mother's advice. Getting back to the song and the theme of it, the significance I see in it is that one of my hardest fights of all has been for her. I've done it, I've become her Mom. I've done what several women before me have tried to do but gave up. The song "God Bless the Broken Road" comes to mind...."God bless the broken road that led me straight to you..."
To the victor go the spoils
My girls give the best hugs around. They each have about a 1000 watt smile. To see Maddie growing up from a fresh little peanut into a little girl, running around, laughing, climbing on everything she can manage to figure out how to - it's amazing. Maddie is our miracle, in progress. And Z. She is turning out just as I knew she would, all it took is hanging in with her long enough for her to relax. Under all of the heartache, under all of the problems, she is just as much a miracle as any child - perhaps even a bit more so given that she has survived more tradegy than most people twice her age. She is happy more days than depressed now. She gives more hugs than threats now and more smiles than scowls. I came home from work one night to find a note stuck to the front door - "I love you, Mom" is all it said, but it says everything to me.
Life is so sweet. Namaste.
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